


Dyke

by PteranodonSays



Category: Mean Girls (2004)
Genre: F/F, High School, Middle School, Misses Clause Challenge, TW: Fat-shaming, TW: Homophobia, Teen Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-24
Updated: 2012-12-24
Packaged: 2017-11-22 05:35:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/606366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PteranodonSays/pseuds/PteranodonSays
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Janis Ian and Regina George were best friends in middle school. But the story of how their friendship ended isn't quite what Regina told Cady Heron...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dyke

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tetracontakaidigon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tetracontakaidigon/gifts).



> Written for Yuletide 2012, as my assignment for tetracontakaidigon.  
> I am grateful to drumbot_beta/gaywatson and claireloub for their beta-reading and (hopefully) taking out all my Britishisms.  
> This is my first foray into fanfiction for a very long time. Any comments or critique would be greatly appreciated! :)

 

 

 

 

Regina sits at the desk behind Janis. Class is boring today. She spends the lesson cutting slivers of pink paper from her Barbie notebook and flicking them onto the other girl’s desk. Janis turns and looks at her once or twice: Regina grins each time.

 

Afterwards, Regina hops over to Janis and peers over her shoulder. Her blonde, straightened hair falls down beside Janis’ face. Janis has been doodling again. The entire bottom half of what was supposed to be the answers to a pop quiz on American Literature has been overtaken by thick black ballpoint lines. At the centre are two recognisable figures, taken to cartoonish extremes. On the left, a girl dressed in baggy, colourful clothes, with a cloud of curly brown hair; on the right, another, with long straight blonde hair and a hot pink mini-dress. Beneath them, in letters shaded to look 3D, is the legend “Best Friends”. Regina squeals with delight. “Oh my god, that’s one’s so cool!”

 

Janis grins. “Thanks.”

 

“Is it going with the others?”

 

“Yup. When I get home.”

 

Regina’s face lights up. The bell rings for the next lesson.

 

 

***

Regina George is thirteen, and already she has learned that what Regina wants, Regina gets.

 

She’s noticed the cracks in her parents’ marriage. They think she can’t tell – but it’s so obvious. The sudden silences when she enters a room. The muffled shouts that come from their palatial bedroom. The long awkward dinners where her dad stares into space fixedly as he chews his steak, while her mom picks at the edges of her greens and fills the air with endless chatter. Regina has already decided she can’t possibly end up like either of them. Use or be used, she thinks, as with a mixture of tantrums and sweet smiles she plays their conflict to her advantage, wrenches from it a neverending stream of gifts that are half-apology, half-bribe.

 

It’s not just her parents, either. She’s learning that everyone – everyone! – can be bent or bought, with a modulation of her voice here, a winsome expression there, a casual expression of affection or a vague offer of a party at her big cool house. Teachers seem to go easy on her – she’s having a _hard time at home_ , after all, and one single theatrical tear or well-timed sigh can make the difference between a B+ and an A-. And she’s collecting friends – or followers, really, stringing them together like beads on a necklace. Madison, Shelley, Kim, Olivia, Ashleigh, Taylor – she counts them off on her fingers. It’s all so easy. They follow her like baby ducks. They’re kind of cute, and kind of funny. But she gets tired of them quickly – their row of heads nodding in agreement to everything she says, like sunflowers in the wind.

 

Janis is the only one who challenges her. This funny, arty girl with her caustic humour and easygoing grin. She seems larger than life somehow – her mane of hair and bright bulky clothes are like physical extensions of her personality, her confidence. She’s not cowed by Regina. She clearly likes her, sure, but that’s not the same thing. On the first day of middle school, Regina had laughed at her – and Janis had laughed right back.

 

“You look like a Barbie doll,” Janis had guffawed.

 

“At least I don’t look like Raggedy Ann,” Regina replied sharply.

 

Janis laughed again. “She wasn’t all that raggedy. And I’m more colourful than her, and that’s how I like it!” She struck a pose, showing off the bright stitching on her big warm jumper. “So, what’s your name, Barbie?”

 

“Regina George.” Her voice was brittle, uncertain.

 

“Hey, you’re alright. I’m gonna call you Reggie, okay?”

 

Regina had stared at her, taken aback. But she had been even younger then, and softer around the edges – before she had begun to calcify in the role of everybody’s favourite little princess. And so the irritation with this other girl had been drowned out, overwhelmingly, by curiosity and affection.

 

And for most of middle school, they ended up sticking with each other through thick and thin. They’d always tried to be on the same team in gym class; they’d sat near each other in lessons and rolled their eyes; they’d exploded with laughter at jokes only the two of them understood. They’d spent recess climbing trees and making up stories about everyone else (what if Kim’s mom was really a secret agent instead of a businesswoman? –  what if Mr. Fernandez the geography teacher had an underground lair? – what if one of them had a hidden superpowered identity they didn’t even know about, and spent all night fighting or committing crimes, and waking up in the morning with no idea about it?). In Janis’ bedroom, they have plastered a wall with pictures – some photographs of them together, some on flimsy paper which Regina cut out of magazines (“… and when we go to Europe, we’ll stay in a castle like this! And I’ll wear a dress like this one!”), but the highlights are Janis’ drawings. The two of them, as superheroes, supervillains, royalty, special agents, scientists, rock stars, famous artists, movie stars – everything two bright kids idly dream of one day doing or being. Regina comes round a few times a week and adds more cuttings to it. Janis’ mom brings them home-made baklava and smiles to see her daughter so happy.

 

But things are beginning to change. Being inseperable can only last so long. Regina’s growing band of worshippers are demanding more of her time – and their attention, their _devotion_ , feeds a strange cold flame that flickers inside her. And Janis – sometimes Regina sees her hanging out with a few other kids she doesn’t know, some of the _weird_ kids beneath her radar, the ones who never dare come speak to her. She sees them food-fighting in the cafeteria, sees them laughing loudly and and tousling each other’s hair. One of them is a boy. Regina feels a bitter twinge every time Janis touches him.

 

***

 

The teacher is talking about some dead guy or another. Whatever, thinks Regina.

  
Regina folds the paper in half and cuts out a curving shape along the fold. She picks it up and unfolds it – it’s a heart. The next one is a star, although it’s kind of uneven. Next a diamond, and it’s _boring_. Perhaps she’ll go back to hearts, she decides. She keeps at it, turning her notepaper slowly into a skeleton of cut-outs. She flicks some of the hearts over to Janis’ desk. Janis doesn’t look back at her this time; in fact, if anything, she goes kind of still. Regina can’t stop staring at her back, at the untamed cloud of hair, willing her to turn around and show her face instead. She looks down at the cut-out hearts, and flushes a little. Hearts. Did – did Janis think she…? No; surely not. It’s just paper. It’s just _shapes_. Working quickly, though, she cuts out some more shapes – stars, a crescent moon, and flicks them over.

 

This time, the drawing is just of Regina – wearing a tiara and waving a sceptre, in a dress that’s part ballroom-princess and part loli-goth.

 

“That one’s awesome! I look _so_ good.”

 

Before Janis has a chance to respond, someone taps her on the shoulder. It’s one of Regina’s identikit followers. Janis rolls her eyes. “Sorry, _Janis_ , but _we’ve_ got plans with Regina now?”

 

“Yeah, whatever, you kids have fun with that. Catch ya later, Reggie.” Janis leaves, chuckling. Regina watches her leave, sees her heading towards a chubby boy in a purple button-down shirt – she recognises him, but doesn’t know his name. Whatever. Some of her hangers-on have appeared and are standing round her like they’re waiting for orders. Regina flashes them a bright smile, and flicks her hair.

 

“Oh my god, that girl is _so_ weird,” says Madison in a stage whisper.

 

“Why do you even let her hang out with you, Regina?” asks Shelley.

 

“Did you not see what she was drawing? It’s like she’s stalking you or something,” adds Kim.

 

“Oh, what _ever_ , you guys. Stop being so retarded. She’s just my friend.” Regina rolls her eyes and then turns a withering stare on Kim, who cowers.

 

“She is _totally_ not cool enough for you,” says Olivia, in a low, confidential voice.

 

“Or maybe _you’re_ not cool enough to decide who is or isn’t cool, and you should be quiet before you embarrass yourself?” says Regina breezily, fixing Olivia with a very sweet smile. “Anyway.” Regina looks at them like a general surveying her troops. “We’re going shopping! I’ll call my mom. She’ll drive us to the mall and we can totally ditch her once we’re there.”

 

“Awesome!” squeal Madison and Kim in unison. Regina rolls her eyes, and takes her pink cellphone out of her bag.

 

***  
  
Regina is sitting in a pile of cushions on her bed, staring at the class photograph from the end of last year. In a moment of boredom over summer vacation, she’d taken a pen and annotated it with choice comments. Next to Madison are the words “hopeless wannabe”; by Olivia, it says “not as pretty as she thinks she is”; by Kim, “literally never shuts up”. Shelley’s face is covered by the word “BORING”. There was nothing written next to Janis – nothing at all. Regina scans the photo, looking for the boy she’d seen Janis with. She’d written “fat loser” next to him. What on earth was his _name?_ Like, Darren or something?

 

“What _ever_ ,” she mutters, and flings the photograph across the room. It hits the wall with a disappointingly quiet papery noise. Regina glares at her pink wallpaper. She feels angry, and even angrier that she can’t really understand why. Under her breath, she says: “This _room_ is too effing _small_.” Cushions and a mountain of soft toys and a dressing table with a giant mirror and an expensive German dollhouse and a rocking horse and three stacks of CDs and a clothing rail full of dresses that wouldn’t fit into her wardrobe – with all her things, it’s becoming… cramped. Claustrophobic. Regina feels like the bedroom is full of her own shed skins. Maybe she should put some of this crap in the trash. Maybe she needs a bigger room. She doesn’t know, but she wants to scream until the walls move apart and there’s space for her breathe.

 

***

 

“He is totally into you,” whispers Madison, glancing over at Kyle. He’s taller than the other eighth-graders by several inches, and is the top scorer on the school basketball team. He is staring at Regina like her mom’s stupid little dog stares at a steak on the table.

 

“Shut _up!_ ” giggles Regina, in what is becoming her customary way of expressing incredulity. She pauses expectantly, until Kim adds:

 

“Oh my god no, he _totally_ is. Look at how he’s looking at you!”

 

“You’re so pretty, like, why wouldn’t he be?” adds Shelley.

 

“I know, right?” Regina’s smile is wide and sparkling. For just a second, she lets herself meet his gaze, and watches him blush under the full force of her charm.

 

“Are you going to ask him out?” asks Kim breathlessly.

 

“ _God_ no. He can ask me himself. And maybe – ” Regina pauses delicately – “just maybe, I’ll say yes. He _is_ totally cute.” Regina stretches out like a cat in the sun, and checks her nails. She turns away from him deliberately, feeling his gaze lingering on her, feeling the power in refusing to meet it. As she does so, she sees Janis – bright orange fluffy jumper, green baggy pants, arms full of notebooks – on her way past. She’s with that boy – Damian, she remembers. They’re laughing and joking as though nobody else can see them. Regina can’t look away. Janis spots Regina and grins casually at her, head cocked as though to ask what she’s doing with _those_ dumbasses. Regina’s throat feels like it might close up. She forces a smile. Her eyes feel prickly and she doesn’t understand.

 

“God, that girl is so _creepy_.” Olivia says loudly, projecting her voice so everyone nearby can hear it.

 

Janis rolls her eyes and raises an eyebrow at Regina. She waits a second, but Regina’s expression is frozen. Janis shrugs and walks off – is she going a little faster than before, or is that Regina’s imagination? Damian goes with her, but swivels his head back and sticks out his tongue at them all.

 

“Eww. What even is that fat kid’s deal?” Kim loudly demands of the world.

 

Later, after the final class of the day has been dismissed, Regina glimpses Janis heading round the side of the building. She waits a minute while her followers chatter away, then says:

 

“Somebody hold my bag - I think I left something in my locker?”

 

Shelley and Madison scrabble to hold Regina’s bag – she tosses a silk scarf at them so they both have something to hold, and blows the group a casual kiss: “Love ya!” She walks purposefully back up the steps. Her kitten-heel shoes click through the quiet corridors. She slips out through a side door – and there’s Janis, picking large leaves off the sycamore tree. It must be for her art project, Regina thinks. Janis hears the door close and turns round.

 

“So your little bodyguards cleared me to talk to you after all, huh Reggie?” Janis’ tone is mostly good-natured, but there’s a note of anger in there too.

 

“I’m sorry!” protests Regina, and she genuinely is, feeling a spike of emotion piercing up through the veneer she has been building up. “I just – I mean – they’re a bunch of losers. It doesn’t matter, does it?”

 

“Why do you hang out with them?” Janis’ voice is far louder than Regina’s, and full of the clarity of confidence.

 

Regina shifts uncomfortably, unsure how to answer. “Well why do _you_ hang out with that fat boy?” she snaps.

 

“Damian? Because I like him. Duh. But it sounds like you don’t even like your new friends. What gives, Reggie?”

 

Regina touches her hand to the school wall, steadying herself. “You like him?”

 

“Yeah. He’s nice. But those dumbass girls aren’t. So why?”

 

Regina feels her teeth clenching. She feels the blood draining from her face. “Maybe you’re just jealous of them because _they’re_ all pretty.”

 

Janis raises an eyebrow. “Don’t give me this bull. Why did you come find me if you just wanted to throw insults at me?”

 

Regina feels her hand shaking, feels anger bubbling inside her like water inside a kettle.

 

“God! No! This isn’t what I meant! It’s just – they’re being so weird about you, and I – I still want to be your friend, okay? _God!_ Like I’d stop wanting to be your friend! But those stupid bitches won’t stop being all ‘eww, Janis is creepy’ and it’s just, like – fine, I’ll leave them to it, what _ever_.”

 

“So you and me are good, then?”

 

Regina nods, her eyes prickling. “Yes! Totally! But… can this be just, like… our little secret?”

 

Janis looks at her suspiciously. “So you’re, what, going undercover as a total bitch?”

 

Regina nods quickly, a few times. “Totally. I’ll be like a secret agent. So – I’ll see you this weekend?”

 

Janis nods. “Fine.”

 

Regina raises a hand as if to blow an air-kiss, but falters before the hand reaches her mouth, and just waves awkwardly instead. She turns to leave. Her head feels fuzzy and she doesn’t understand why.

 

***

 

Whenever Regina walks down the school corridor holding hands with Kyle, she can feel the stares and the whispers filling up the hungry space inside her. Every time she hears someone saying “ohmygod, did you hear Regina George is dating Kyle Anderson?” a thrill runs through her. She feels like a rock star in front of a roaring crowd. She feels like royalty, like a celebrity, like the most important person in the world. And now, all those drawings on Janis’ wall of shared childhood pipedreams seem so stupid – why would she need to dream about a future like that, when she could have it _right now?_ All the power, the respect, the attention – people give it to her on a plate. The other kids fight over her smile. She feels like she holds the strings to manipulate everyone around her, and the sense of control is dizzying. Well – almost everyone. But no, she refuses to think about that  – Regina pushes the thought down as she walks along the corridor with her fingers threaded through Kyle’s and dispenses smiles and glances on her adoring public.

 

Seeing Janis has become something that only happens once a weekend, if that. Regina has spent a lot of time dating Kyle – and more importantly, perhaps, being _seen_ dating Kyle, drinking soda together at the mall or sitting next to each other at the movies. When she lets herself think about it – how the person who had once been her best friend was slipping away – it hurts. But most of the time she is too caught up in the whirlwind of the life she has built: the shopping, the sleepovers, the endless games of favoring some and spurning others so they fight for her attention all the more. Janis leaves her messages sometimes; Regina forgets they’re there, or makes herself forget.

 

But one day, she feels the hurt too much to ignore it. It’s Saturday morning. Regina is meant to be going to the movies with Kyle, then meeting her entourage of admirers to go round the mall again. She misses Janis. Whatever, she’ll tell Kyle she’s sick or something. He doesn’t need to know. There’s a phone in her room – she dials a number.

 

Janis’ mom answers, and Regina’s mind is flooded with memories of kind smiles and mint tea and a room that smells of paint and honey. She sounds surprised to hear Regina’s voice.

 

“Janis? Oh, yes, she’s here – just give me a second…”

 

Regina hears a distant conversation on the other end of the line. At last, Janis picks up.

 

“Hey.” Janis’ tone is unreadable.

 

“Hi…” Regina trails off.

 

“So you’re calling me back at last?”

 

“Mmhmm. Look, I’m really sorry. Do you wanna come over today or something? We can hang out, watch some videos or whatever?”

 

There is a short silence. Regina feels a tightness in her throat as she waits. At last, Janis responds. “Yeah, okay. I’ll see you soon.”

 

When Janis arrives, Regina’s mom raises an eyebrow and mouths something at Regina. She ignores her and whisks Janis upstairs.

 

***

It’s nearly evening. Regina can’t believe how the time has flown. Even more, she can’t believe how – how normal everything is. It’s like they’ve both decided to completely ignore the bitter awkwardness that has sprung up between them, and just… re-set. It’s like how things were last year. Janis is sprawled on the bed, furiously drawing something, one leg dangling over the side. Regina is sitting up by the headboard on her pile of cushions, a magazine on her lap, occasionally reading funny bits aloud. Janis’ laugh is so perfectly unselfconscious and hearing it makes Regina smile contentedly. She feels that at this moment, everything is good and comfortable and _right_.

 

She puts down the magazine and flops over to where Janis is lying on her front. Her sketchpad is filling up with random shapes – leaves, eyes, hands. “You didn't do another one of us?”

 

Janis shakes her head. “Not yet.” She rolls over a little and looks Regina in the eye. “Do you think I should?”

 

“ _Totally_.” Regina stretches out along the bed. She is lying next to Janis now, their faces surely only a few inches away. The strange realization hits her that she has never seen Janis in anything other than giant baggy clothes. Even for gym class, Janis would go change in the bathroom and emerge with a polo shirt that nearly reached her knees and shorts that skimmed her ankles. She has no idea what she actually _looks_ like, under all that fabric. Somehow, right now, this seems very important. She can feel Janis’ breath on her face. Regina closes her eyes.

 

“I don’t get you, Reggie.” Janis’ voice breaks the silence. “You’re so great, when you’re not being a total bitch. What changed?”

 

Regina breathes in sharply. She doesn’t know what to say. Now Janis has actually addressed the rift between them it feels like some kind of spell has been broken. She isn’t used to being lost for words. With anyone else, she could have coolly enunciated a put-down that would leave the recipient feeling like a worm. But not Janis. She challenges her. She disturbs her. She gets under her skin.

 

Regina opens her eyes again. Suddenly, at the sight of Janis’ face again, it all crystallizes. She knows precisely what she wants. And what Regina wants, Regina gets. She darts forward and kisses Janis on the lips, one hand reaching up to touch her cheek. She is surrounded by the scent of her. Her fingers curl around the back of Janis’ head, twining into her long wavy hair. It seems to last forever – but then Janis breaks it, pulls back wiping her mouth, stares at Regina with brown eyes wide with shock.

  
“What are you _doing?_ ” exclaims Janis – “What about _Kyle?_ ”

 

Regina stares back, wide-eyed and shaking. She reaches up a hand to touch her own lips. That bright piercing moment of clarity is gone, and she is flooded with confusion and shame. What could make her do something like that? What power did this girl _have_ over her? And then, after making Regina want her so bad, how could Janis pull back? Didn’t she feel any of this? How dare she _reject_ her? The intense warmth she had felt for Janis transmutes to white-hot rage. She lets out a scream.

 

“That was _your fault!_ You _made_ me do it! You… you _fucking dyke!_ ”

 

Regina leaps up from the bed as though she’s been burned and stares at Janis with a level of hatred she’s never shown anybody before. “Get out of my house! Now!”

 

***  
  
The next day at school, Regina refuses to even look at Janis. But she talks about her – and soon, so does everyone else. Girls begin to avoid going near her. Words like “lesbian” and “dyke” hang in the air. When Regina’s birthday comes round, she makes it loudly and publicly clear that Janis Ian The Lesbian will _not_ be attending her all-girl pool party. But even that isn’t enough for Regina’s bitter heart. Soon there’s a petition – Regina’s worshippers and hangers-on are all lining up to sign an open letter to the principal asking that Janis be banned from gym because she’s ohmygod she’s a _lesbian_. Janis’ mum rings Regina’s angrily; she says she’s sure Regina didn’t mean any harm by anything she might have done, and maybe Janis should start taking better care of herself if she doesn’t want people to think that she’s, well, _you know_ …

 

Eventually Janis stops showing up for class. Something inside Regina twinges; she pushes it down until she can barely feel it any more.

 

***

 

When Regina next sees Janis, it’s the first week of high school. Regina has been assessing everyone – already, she has her eye on replacements for those of her entourage who followed her here from middle school. There are girls who are prettier, richer, cooler. Madison is still desperate to please her, even though she can feel Regina cutting the strings. And perhaps that’s why, when they’re walking through the hallway, Madison decides to point out someone else for Regina to be catty about:

 

“Ohmygod, Regina, look over there. It’s that creepy _lesbian_ from middle school.”

 

Regina barely recognises her. Her mane of curls has been dyed jet-black, straightened, clipped and pinned into order. Her clothes are still baggy, but the bright colours are replaced with black and grey, and when before they seemed to enlarge Janis’ presence in the world, now they look more like a shield against it. Janis seems to have flattened, shrunk in on herself. As Regina watches her, Janis turns round from her locker and meets Regina’s gaze. Her expression is one of unmitigated hatred and contempt. For a brief moment, Regina’s heart goes out to her – she wants to run over and apologize for everything, start again. But then she remembers how Janis pulled away, how she _wiped her mouth_ and stared at her like she was some kind of monster, and cold rage rises up inside her again.

 

“What _ever_ ,” sighs Regina, rolling her eyes. “I don’t even care. Effing _dyke_.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hi tetracontakaidigon - I hope this is sufficient backstory on why Regina spreads the rumour that Janis is a lesbian. I didn't feel comfortable writing pre-movie sexual contact because of the characters' ages involved, but I really liked the idea that Regina is so vehement in calling Janis a "dyke" because she's insecure about her own attraction. It's not quite any of the options from your prompt, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway! :)


End file.
